Not sure what I’ve been waiting for with updating… I think I’ve been waiting for something to settle into some kind of rhythm, like equalize to some place but it’s kinda been a moving target. I still find I’m not believing that Hodgkin’s isn’t coming back. I find myself saying things like, “I don’t feel bad… yet…” when talking about Read the rest of this entry »
been far too long…
December 14th, 2010while on the road
August 28th, 2010I went to visit a buddy of mine who lives near Kansas City for a week. Got back a week ago last Sunday. Had a good time. I stayed at my uncle’s house near St. Louis and it split the trip up nicely. It was funny how different driving in IL and driving in Mo is. IL roads are pretty much straight and sometimes veer slightly but that’s it and there’s no hills at all basically. In Mo the highway is curvy and there’s hills and valleys fairly often. I wasn’t used to having to vary how much I push the peddle to stay going the same speed because I’m used to IL highways. It was real weird how huge the difference was and how odd it felt. I didn’t notice it last time because last time I drove down I drove my mom’s car which has cruise control (mine doesn’t).
Stuff I saw along the way: Read the rest of this entry »
quote that sums my ass up
August 13th, 2010stumbled on this quote and it rings pretty true for me currently:
The greatest tragedy in life is that most people spend their entire lives indefinitely preparing to live – Paul Tournier
another thing
August 8th, 2010Same shit as last post is fucking with me some still but not as much as last night. Something else I’ve been thinking about that was brought to mind from the stuff last night about the potential for a pattern, is that how do you ‘get over’ something that has no time limit or end? I can get Read the rest of this entry »
gah
August 7th, 2010I was looking through some shit and apparently 07/2009 is when I was officially in remission last time and that’s the exact same time I was officially in remission this time… It’s kinda fucking with me… Nothing hella specific but just knowing that seems kind of oppressive… I know it’s just a coincidence but knowing that in Read the rest of this entry »
had an appointment with oncologist
August 6th, 2010Had the last appointment with Dr. Kaminer (the oncologist that did the high dose chemo with me) before I switch back to Dr. Dragon as my main oncologist. Not much to report. I ask about my hip hurting if that was normal or if it should be hurting or shouldn’t be or what. She ask if I was more active and I said yes and she didn’t Read the rest of this entry »
little better
August 4th, 2010Feel like I should post since it’s been a while (post from a couple days ago hardly counts) but I don’t know, I guess I don’t want to jinx it? Been feeling a little better about things. It’s odd, nothing’s actually resolved per se but but like identifying more fully how you feel about something and why you may feel that way somehow Read the rest of this entry »
there is a bright side of everything
August 1st, 2010talking to a buddy of mine and:
bLOB: gonna go get my hair cut
bLOB: first haircut in like 6 months Read the rest of this entry »
opposing thoughts
July 15th, 2010I’ve been wanting to type this up all day but have been putting it off. I think I’ve just been distracting myself so I don’t have to think about it. Now that I’ve started I’ve been doing a mixture of staring at the text box not knowing how to start and messing with what music I want to listen too…
I was ask by a friend last weekend, “What do you want?” referring to my future, or was it, Read the rest of this entry »
Pet scan results
July 7th, 2010Got the PET scan results earlier today, about to go to bed and realized I been busy with appointments and things and hadn’t posted them. So anyway, the Pet scan came back as having no lymph node lumps like the CT scan did! Only thing is there is something in my chest but the doctor said it was probably just from the catheter and/or it’s removal and they’ll recheck it later. Definitely relieved and excited and really hope it stays away this time!