MrbLOB9000

ok, so what that actually means is that since I still have my port in, once every month and a half I have to go in and have them draw a slight amount of blood and put some more heprin (an anticoagulant) so the blood in the tube that is attached to my port doesn’t coagulate, which would be bad for obvious reasons.

I had a slight amount of trouble sleeping last night, even though it was just a port draw and nothing more, I still felt like, I don’t know, that I didn’t want them to find something.  I’d much prefer not having cancer again, needless to say. 🙂  The actual port draw went quickly.  Sitting in the waiting room was a bit surreal.  It was odd, it felt like slightly like I had just been there for chemo very recently but also like I hadn’t been there in a long time.  Both at the same time, surreal and odd feeling.  Also, it was a different experience because it’s the first time I’ve been there and not have to prepare myself for something, whether it’s bad news, chemo, whatever.  I was more the person looking in, the observer, vs. the one on the inside or whatever.  I don’t know.  It felt different to be there this time.  Different in a good way.

I’ve been doing well.  It’s odd finding out what normal is again.  I had been worse than normal/average to varying degrees since at least early 07!  Worse as time went on basically. I had a super persistant cough since late 07, went to the doctor about it in Jan 08 because it wouldn’t go away and had my first lump on my neck mid 08.  But anyway, even doing chemo I felt better than I did before chemo after a hand full of treatments but even after the direct effects of the chemo were gone (until the next one), I still wasn’t feeling actually good, just better than the terrible I felt before I started chemo basically.  Plus you can’t get any kind of rhythm going when 5 days of every two weeks suck (and not even specifically predictably suck, which day was the worst and actually how bad it was was fairly random).  Still trying to straight out my sleep schedule, going to bed early enough sucks but I’m doing it decently enough, it’s the getting up in the morning that sucks.  I feel slightly like an ass for complaining that I have to get up at like 8:30am or 9am, that’s sleeping in to many people, but I haven’t consistently gotten up at that time in at least a year and a half probably. 🙂  It also somehow sucks slightly more to live at home when you have to go to bed early and wake up early, I think it’s because there’s little to no time when there’s no one around.

damn it, was supposed to get my port flushed today, I forgot it was today. 🙁 luckily getting my port flushed isn’t a huge deal for them, so I don’t think it hosed anyone out of time or a chair for someone else or whatever (they just kinda put me anywhere that’s open for a few mins since it doesn’t take long).

For now I still have my port in, was going to wait at a minimum until my insurance kicked in (should be real soon), because I didn’t want to have to use clinic funding for them to have to put another one in if I needed chemo again. But ya, going to wait at least until after the first scan (so 6 months from when I was done with chemo). We’ll see what I decide, but for now it’s staying even though it’s kind of annoying.