had an appointment with oncologist

Had the last appointment with Dr. Kaminer (the oncologist that did the high dose chemo with me) before I switch back to Dr. Dragon as my main oncologist.  Not much to report.  I ask about my hip hurting if that was normal or if it should be hurting or shouldn’t be or what.  She ask if I was more active and I said yes and she didn’t say anything but seemed to have the reaction of “that’s probably it” and moved on without really responding.  My hemogloben (think that’s what she said, red blood cells basically) is getting closer back to normal, it’s at like 11 and my previous normal before the high dose chemo was 14, so getting closer to normal and am just below the normal range, so still anemic but not as bad.  I was previously 9.5 a month ago.  Other than that, nothing really else to report with the appointment.

Went back to the floor I stayed at for the month of the high dose chemo to see the nurses.  Clayton wasn’t there but Andrea and Lisa were there.  They were happy to see me and shocked at how good I looked, glad to see I’m looking healthy and normal.  It was weird being back on that floor and seeing the area again… It kind of felt how I’d imagine someone feels visiting a place that they had a bad accident or something…  Like seeing it made me imagine how I felt or what I went through and I didn’t want too or something…  Like I said previously, I think it (the experience of the high dose chemo and being in the hospital) effected me more than I previously realized.  Wasn’t too bad though, rounded a corner and then it was an area I hadn’t seen and so didn’t dwell on it.

Also, I was thinking about it and I think being shorter than most people I think partially makes me feel younger than I am or younger in comparison to someone that is taller than me.  Or it kind of weirds me out when I’m older than someone that to me looks older than I feel and/or is taller than me.  Doesn’t make good sense but I think that’s my subliminal reading of some situations.  Just random observation because I was thinking about why it kinda weirds me out that my main nurse Andrea was probably younger than me (She’s probably like 25, was my estimation and ask my mom what she though and she said like 25 without me saying what I thought).  I think it’s because she’s taller than me by a little, like when you grow up you’re supposed to be taller than people and I’m still not. Also, that she’s much more along than I am with her career.  Maybe that much should be all caps with an expclamation point in comparison to where I am… fucking a… 🙂 Heh, anyway, guess that’s it.

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