this is kinda how I was feeling when I first started on my 100 day break after my last contract, I guess I was gonna do a post about it, but never did. putting it up as is:<\/p>\n
Me: I think my contract ending is fuckign with me more than I expected
\nFriend: Really?
\nMe: my uncle has cancer, had prostate surgery and found out it’s aggressive and he may have to have chemo, radiation or both
\nMe: uncle I’m pretty close with (the one in st louis)
\nMe: think that’s a little of it
\nMe: bring back some cancer shit for me
\nMe: but I think the bulk of it is the contract ending
\nMe: think I may be a little depressed, feel a cloud over me a little
\nMe: the uncertainty of it, I’m probably coming back after the 100 days but it’s not a definite
\nMe: unemployment only goes on for so long and finding a job can be hard, I’ve only been in this field for a short time and I don’t look super good on paper yet and am kind of a bad interview
\nFriend: Yeah, a lot of shit on your plate….makes sense.
\nMe: and part of it is like, they’re going to be doing shit for 3 months without me even if I do come back, I don’t want them to make bad decisions or fuck shit up while I’m gone, so I think there’s some anxiety there too a little
\nMe: I don’t know, shit’s been going too well kinda
\nFriend: Makes sense though
\nFriend: Not quite irrational
\nMe: like my luck has run out somehow and this is the first piece of the downslide or something
\nMe: what’s not quite irrational?
\nFriend: Ur thoughts<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
this is kinda how I was feeling when I first started on my 100 day break after my last contract, I guess I was gonna do a post about it, but never did. putting it up as is: Me: I think my contract ending is fuckign with me more than I expected Friend: Really? Me: […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","spay_email":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-450","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hodgkins-lymphoma","category-seattle"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pqH02-7g","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.mrblob9000.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/450","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.mrblob9000.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.mrblob9000.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.mrblob9000.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.mrblob9000.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=450"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/blog.mrblob9000.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/450\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":454,"href":"http:\/\/blog.mrblob9000.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/450\/revisions\/454"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.mrblob9000.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=450"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.mrblob9000.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=450"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.mrblob9000.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=450"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}